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          Earlier today, I made a grave mistake. My social life was slow enough that I opened Facebook in an ill-advised attempt at finding some sort of entertainment. Obviously, I was setting myself up for a letdown. As I aimlessly scrolled up and down my news feed, I realized that people bug me. There were a plethora of posts that left me wondering what kind of hope there is for humanity. Excuse my cynicism. In the couple of minutes that I allowed myself to browse, I found a few glaring problems with Facebook. Actually, a few glaring problems with society. Knowing me, I'll probably get bored of typing before I get through everything that irked me, so I'll only promise to share one example. Consider anything more than that a bonus.

 

            I read a post, and I'm not quoting exactly, that said something along the lines of, “I am the luckiest girl ever! My boyfriend stayed home with me all day because I was sick and he gave me medicine!” Now, if this would have been worded differently, maybe I would have just browsed over it. Maybe I would have thought that he was an idiot for exposing himself to what could have been malaria, typhoid fever, or some weird and hard-to-pronounce flesh eating disorder. Maybe I would have given the boyfriend a mental high five for being chivalrous and taking care of his girlfriend. But because of the phrase “luckiest girl ever”, we will never know. Instead, I stared at the screen and silenetly raged. Isn't it a little ignorant to think that you are the single luckiest girl in the entire history of the world? That's what using the word “ever” to finish your post connotates. Now, I don't claim to know every girl in the world nor have I studied up on every girl who has ever lived. That's obvious. But, out of the few people that I do know and the little bit of history that is stored somewhere in my brain, I can think on plenty of girls who are/were more lucky than this one.

 

·         This year, in Ohio, a pregnant woman was stuck by lightning as she walked out to her car. Instead of internally combusting or being reduced to a pile of unrecognizable, charred human flesh, she lived. More luck? She's fine. Even more luck than that? Her unborn baby was unharmed! Is this woman the luckiest ever? I highly doubt it. But, I think that surviving a lightning strike is a hell of a lot more lucky than having a boy spoon feed you Nyquil.

·         A few years ago, a mother of two was terminally ill with cancer. Desperately, she turned to God. She didn't pray to be cured, she only plead that she'd be given a little bit more time to spend with her two young kids. A few days later, during a return appointment with her doctor, she was told that the cancer had vanished. But, you're right, you're way more lucky than this lady because your boyfriend stayed with you ALL day.

·         One day, while meandering through the Garden of Eden, there's a chance that Eve could have stumbled into a patch of poison ivy. It's possible that this caused her skin to flare up, itch, and cause other general discomfort. Adam, being the gentleman that he was, could have mixed up an herbal concoction to ease Eve's suffering. Hypothetical, of course, but this is the only point in human history that I'd be okay with a woman logging onto Facebook and claiming to be the luckiest one ever. And that's only because, according to Christian lore, she was the ONLY woman!

·         There are plenty of women thoughout history that have more credible claims to luck that this Facebook user. Women who have survived civil wars, atomic bombs, concentration camps, natural disasters, and probably even sketchy Chinese Buffets.

 

            It's completely ignorant to lay claim to the title of “luckiest girl ever” just because you have a boyfriend that sat by your bedside and passed a few pills your way. In all reality, he was probably sitting there playing Call of Duty or World of Warcraft. Next time, thank your boyfriend. And if you feel the need to tell the world, do us all a favor and simply call yourself a lucky girl instead of ridiculously claiming to be the luckiest girl ever. Next time you're tempted to tell the world that you have the best boyfriend ever, that your friends are the most gorgeous couple ever, that you had the longest day ever, that you had the best night ever, that you have the worst parents ever, that the new Bieber creation is the best song ever, or that the alien shaped thing on the screen in the cutest baby ever, think long and hard about using the word “ever”. More than likely, you will have done your part to make Facebook a better place. And, you'll save yourself from sounding like a complete idiot.